NEW IN MY CHOCOLATE ROOM. Chocolate Covered HYDROX COKIES.

What is a Hydrox? Hydrox was the original sandwich cookie. In 1908, the Sunshine Biscuit Company began selling Hydrox cookies, and they were an immediate success. Hydrox was so successful that in 1912 the much larger National Biscuit Company (Nabisco) starting making Oreos, a copycat of Hydrox. Oreos quickly began outselling Hydrox. In 1999, Sunshine stopped making Hydrox cookies after the company was purchased by Keebler. Hydrox cookies looked like Oreos, but they didn’t taste the same. Hydrox cookies were not as sweet as Oreos. I think that is because Hydrox cookies were made with sugar, and Oreos were and are made with corn syrup.  Hydrox cookies are back on the market, but they can be very hard to find in stores or online. Hydrox cookies are still made with real sugar and contain no corn syrup.

Jews & Hydrox. When I was a kid, Jews who kept kosher ate Hydrox cookies, never Oreos. Oreos were made with lard, and therefore, were not kosher. Hydrox cookies were always made with vegetable oil and were always kosher.  In the 1990s, American consumers began shifting away from products made with lard as part of a general interest in eating healthier food. As a result, many products, like Bisquick, replaced the lard in their products with vegetable oil. In 1997, Nabisco stopped putting lard in Oreos and replaced it with vegetable oil as well. As a result, Oreos are now kosher.

Kosher Hot Dogs. Surprisingly, the great majority of American buyers of kosher foods are Christians. A lot of people will pay extra for kosher certified processed foods because they know that if there is a kosher seal on a product, that means that it doesn’t contain pig snouts, mechanically separated cow butts, or a long list of other unappetizing animal parts and also that a rabbi is regularly inspecting the factory looking for unsanitary conditions, and inspecting it more frequently than government food inspectors. I sometimes see 1 pound packages of hot dogs at dollar stores and wonder: ‘What are all-meat hot dogs that sell for $1.00 a pound made out of?’ Perhaps it is best not to think too much about such questions. You sure can’t buy kosher hot dogs for $1.00 a pound!

Donald Trump vs. Oreos. President Trump has urged Americans to boycott products that used to be made in the U.S. but that are now made in Mexico. In 2015, Nabisco moved the production of Oreos from Chicago to Mexico. Then-candidate Trump said: “I’m never eating another Oreo again!” and told his supporters to boycott Oreos as well. Donald Trump talked about Oreos frequently during the presidential campaign. Hydrox cookies were always made in the U.S., and they still are. So what do you think?  Will eating Hydrox cookies ‘make America great again’?

Hebrew Tattoos.

Tattoos in Hebrew have become very popular. I see them everywhere. Unfortunately, very few tattoo artists can actually read or write Hebrew, and this has led to a lot of misspelled and mistranslated Hebrew tattoos. Below is a tattoo on the arm of a man in Bentonville, Arkansas. He thought his tattoo meant ‘strength’ in Hebrew. It actually says ‘matzo.’ He had this tattoo on his arm for years before he found out the true meaning after he met a real Jew for the first time in his life, who translated it for him. The other picture is that of a more commonly misspelled Hebrew tattoo. The tattoo artist made a small mistake in the shape of one of the letters. This tattoo is supposed to be the name of God in Hebrew. Instead it says: ‘He shall be pregnant.’ This is not an isolated case. It appears that there are many other people in the United States, mostly fundamentalist Christians, with tattoos on them that say ‘He shall be pregnant”. Misspelled Hebrew tattoos have been seen all over the U.S. There are several web sites that just show pictures of misspelled Hebrew tattoos. Here is one of these web sites. Bad Hebrew Tattoos.

Jews and Tattoos. The Bible prohibits Jews from getting tattoos. In the Book of Leviticus it says: “You must not put tattoo markings upon yourself.” This line was part of a larger prohibition against idolatry. At the time the Old Testament was written, it was a common practice in the Middle East for people to tattoo the names and images of their gods on their bodies. Up until World War 2, it was generally only the orthodox Jews who took the Biblical prohibition on tattoos seriously, but after the war, tattoos became a taboo for Jews everywhere. Immediately upon entering Nazi concentration camps, Jews were tattooed with numbers on their arms. After the war, tattoos became an unpleasant and unwanted reminder of the Holocaust for Jews. Today, it is virtually impossible to find a tattoo artist who is Jewish or who can actually read Hebrew.

Michael Phelps and Meadowbrook Swimming Pool.

Michael Phelps is back in the news. He just won another important swimming competition, this time the Charlotte Grand Prix. That guy never seems to get old! Whenever I hear the name of Michael Phelps, I think of Meadowbrook Swimming Pool. Michael Phelps did most of his swimming at Meadowbrook when he was growing up, and now he runs the swimming school there. When I was a kid myself growing up in Baltimore, I always wanted to swim at Meadowbrook, especially on hot muggy days, and Baltimore gets a lot of hot muggy days in summer. Besides, our house didn’t have air conditioning. Meadowbrook had the biggest and best swimming pool in Baltimore, but unfortunately, I couldn’t go to there because Meadowbook was restricted.


Restricted. Most Americans today don’t know what the word ‘restricted’ meant back in the 1950s. When a business said that it was ‘restricted’, it meant that racial minorities and Jews were not allowed in. This largely came to an end in 1963 with the passage of the Civil Rights Act. After that, businesses could no longer advertise that they were ‘restricted.’ However, private clubs like Meadowbrook were not covered by the Civil Rights Act and continued to be restricted. Meadowbrook did not allow Jews to swim in their pool, and they said so too. There was a big sign at the entrance to Meadowbrook that said that admission to the swim club was restricted to ‘approved gentiles.’ See the picture below. By ‘gentiles’, they meant white Christians, and not even all of them. Some white Christians were also not allowed in the pool,
like people with Spanish surnames. It didn’t matter where they came from.
meadowbrook
No Jews Allowed. In the Deep South, lots of businesses had signs in their windows that said ‘No Jews’, but not in Baltimore. Maryland was a slave state, but Maryland did not join the Confederacy, so the rules of racial and religious discrimination were not quite as harsh, at least in appearance. For example, the Baltimore Sun newspaper would not accept ads for apartments for rent that said ‘No Jews,’ but they would accept ads that said “Christians Only,’ and lots of the classified ads in The Sun did say ‘Christians Only.’


I assume that Meadowbrook is no longer restricted, but I am just guessing about that. I really don’t know. If you know for sure if Meadowbroow now allows Jews to swim in their pool, let me know. I have often wondered about this. There are many swim, golf, tennis, and foxhunting clubs throughout the South that still do not allow Jews to join.

Foxhunting in Maryland. English foxhunting is now illegal in England, but they still have foxhunts in Maryland. When I was a kid, I knew that Jews weren’t allowed to join foxhunting clubs, but that didn’t bother me. I would never have joined a foxhunt, even if anti-Semitism and money were not issues, and money is a big issue with foxhunting. Foxhunting is a very expensive sport. Fox hunters need a horse,  a stable, expensive custom-made foxhunting clothes, and they have to pay the cost of maintaining a large pack of hunting dogs. They also need foxes. You know, you can only use a fox once when foxhunting.

When I went to Boys Latin School in Baltimore, I had a friend there who went foxhunting every summer with his father. They belonged to a foxhunting club in Mt. Airy, a small town just west of Baltimore. My friend tried to get me to go on a foxhunt with him but it was a ‘no sale’ with me. I never had the slightest desire to participate in an English foxhunt. To be honest, I must admit that foxhunting does look beautiful in movies, but that is because in movies they never show the end of the hunt, when the hounds tear the fox to shreds. The end of a foxhunt is a horrible bloody mess. Here’s a video of a recent foxhunt in Maryland. Fox Hunting In Maryland. Doesn’t it look elegant?

Foxhunting in the Bay Area. There are no foxhunting clubs in Berkeley; however, there are several foxhunting clubs nearby. The Los Altos Hounds conducts foxhunts in Woodside in the coastal hills above Palo Alto. There are also foxhunting clubs in Marin and Solano counties. Jews are allowed to join foxhunting clubs in California. I know quite a few Jews who moved to California from the East Coast, but to the best of my knowledge, none of them moved here so they could go foxhunting.

If you decide to go on a foxhunt – remember – foxhunting is a lot more fun for the hunters and the hounds than for the fox.

Nibiru.

In May, I rented a house on Milvia Street in downtown Berkeley. While the house was listed for rent, a man called me on the phone and said: “I’m calling about your ad on Craigslist. Do you know what the elevation of your house is?” I said: “I’m not sure. I think it’s about 150 feet above sea level. Why do you ask?” He said: “That’s not enough.” I said: “Not enough for what?” He said: “Everything under 500 feet is going to be washed away when NIbiru comes.” I said: “What’s Nibiru?” He said: “You’ll find out” and hung up the phone. I was intrigued, so I went to Google and searched for information about Nibiru. Here is what I found out.

Nibiru. If you haven’t already heard of Nibiru, you may find this story very hard to believe. There are a lot of crazy Mayan calendar doomsday theories floating around, but this one tops them all! According to this theory, a rogue planet named Nibiru, also known as ‘Planet X’, is going to crash into the Earth when the Mayan calendar ends on December 21, 2012 or that it will come so close to the Earth that cataclysmic earthquakes and tidal waves will destroy nearly all plant and animal life. A lot of people believe in Nibiru, which is surprising since there is absolutely no scientific evidence that Nibiru exists. When you search ‘Nibiru’ on Google, you get 10 million results! Think about that. 10 million web pages about Nibiru! Even more surprising, many respected universities now have ‘Nibiru study groups’ or are hosting Nibiru message boards. See: U.C. Berkeley Nibiru Message Board. The first person to ever mention Nibiru was Nancy Lieder in 1995. Lieder describes herself as a ‘contactee’ with the ability to receive messages from extra-terrestrials by means of an implant in her brain placed there by space aliens.

NASA . There are dozens of books on the market about Nibiru, although they all seem to differ about the details: what Nibiru is, what’s going to happen when it arrives, and what you should do to prepare for it. The only thing that all these Nibiru books seem to agree upon is that NASA has been tracking Nibiru for decades, that NASA knows that Nibiru is coming towards the Earth, and they have been hiding this information from the public in order to avoid a general panic. NASA actually does have a web page designed to assure the public that Nibiru does not exist. See: NASA Nibiru Q&A.

Lucifer, The Pope Scope. A lot of books and web sites claim that many years ago, Pope Benedict bought a big German telescope named ‘Lucifer’ (a.k.a. ‘The Pope Scope’) and had it shipped to a secret observatory in Arizona so that Jesuit scientists can guide Nibiru towards the Earth. I can’t figure out why the pope would want to do this or why the pope would name his telescope ‘Lucifer,’ which is another name for Satan. Nevertheless, this story is partially true. The Vatican does have an observatory in Arizona, but the telescope there is named ‘Vatican Advanced Technology Telescope’, not ‘Lucifer.’ According to the book ‘2012..The Secret Vatican Agenda,’ available from Amazon, the Vatican also has a ‘top secret deep space probe’ on Nibiru so that Pope Benedict can communicate directly with the inhabitants of the phantom planet.

Jewish Space Reptiles . Many thousands of web sites claim that Nibiru is inhabited by reptilian creatures called Anunnakis. They say that sometime between 5,000 and 10,000 years ago, Anunnakis came to Earth and lived in the Middle East and that references to this can be found in the Torah, such as the story of Adam and Eve and the Serpent in the Garden of Eden. They further claim that DNA and blood analysis proves that Anunnakis crossbred with Jews in ancient times, and that as a result, modern Jews are actually part human and part space reptile. They say this explains why famous Jews in the Bible were able to perform miracles, such as Moses parting the Red Sea. It was because Jews inherited supernatural powers from their reptilian ancestors. (This theory sounds slightly anti-Semitic to me, or I am just being overly sensitive?)

Taking Shelter. For under $200, you can buy a Nibiru Survival Kit, but if you have big bucks to spend, you can buy a very spiffy Nibiru shelter. Some people are spending huge sums of money on Nibiru shelters and stocking them with food and other provisions. The largest Nibiru shelter complex in the world is under construction right now in Kansas, where a one-half floor underground luxury condominium costs $900,000, payable in advance. The price does not including furnishings. The CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Company) produced a documentary recently about this complex. See: Nibiru Condominiums. Another large underground Nibiru condominium complex is being built in Spain in the Pyrenees Mountains. Another is being built in Australia.

I know that this story sounds utterly preposterous, and you may be thinking to yourself: “Oh, Mark obviously made up this ridiculous story,” but if you go to Google and search ‘Nibiru’, you will quickly find out that I did not make this up!

NEW IN MY CHOCOLATE ROOM.

Chocolate Mayan Calendars. These chocolate calendars are 5″ in diameter and weigh 4 ounces each. I can’t guarantee that eating a chocolate Mayan calendar will prevent Nibiru from crashing into the Earth, but on the other hand, it couldn’t hurt!

MY BLOG.

I have just switched from a newsletter format to a blog. A blog has some big advantages over a newsletter. For one thing, with a blog, people can comment on articles, and I would like to know what people think about the stuff I write! Had you ever heard of Nibiru before? Did you like the story? Do you have a Nibiru shelter? Are you a Jewish space reptile? I would very much like to hear from some Jewish space reptiles or Jesuits with dope on the Pope Scope.