A couple of years ago, a tenant called me on the phone and told me that her dishwasher smelled bad and that the bad odor was getting worse. I went over to her apartment, sniffed inside her dishwasher, and said: “Your dishwasher smells like fish. Do you know why?” She told me that she didn’t know why but that maybe – just maybe – it was because she had been cooking salmon in her dishwasher. That left me confused. She then showed me a cookbook with a recipe in it for salmon cooked in a dishwasher. This was something that I had not heard about before. I told her to stop cooking fish in her dishwasher and to run the dishwasher twice with nothing in it except dishwasher detergent. When I got home, I went online and searched ‘fish cooked in a dishwasher.’ To my surprise, I found dozens of recipes for fish cooked in a dishwasher. (No. I’m not making this up, although this story may sound just too bizarre to be true. Go to Google and check it out for yourself.)

Cooking fish in a dishwasher is a really bad idea, no matter what anybody tells you. Predictably, your dishwasher will smell like fish. Even worse, cooking fish in your dishwasher could make you very sick. The heat in your dishwasher may not be sufficient to kill parasites and dangerous microorganisms like salmonella. The temperature inside a dishwasher doesn’t get anywhere nearly as high as the temperature inside an oven. That’s why there are plastic parts inside your dishwasher, but there are no plastic parts inside your oven. I also found recipes online for chicken, turkey, eggs, lobster, and lasagna cooked in a dishwasher. You should never cook food in your dishwasher. It isn’t designed for that. (Yes, everyone knows that you have to be very smart to get into U.C. Berkeley, but unfortunately, the SAT doesn’t have any questions on it like: “Should you cook fish in your oven or your dishwasher?”)

I can’t figure out why anybody would want to cook fish in a dishwasher. If an apartment has a dishwasher, it also has a stove. There are lots of apartments that have a stove but no dishwasher, but I’ve never seen an apartment that had a dishwasher but no stove. Take a look at the photo below. I copied this photo from a recipe for salmon cooked in a dishwasher on the web site. It seems to me that they should know better than to recommend something like this. Look at this photo and ask yourself – What sort of person would look at this picture and not immediately know that there is something wrong – very wrong – with this?

How To Clean A Greasy Stovetop.

To clean a greasy or sticky stovetop or the wall behind it, a little ammonia straight out of the bottle will quickly solve the problem – and without scrubbing. Nothing dissolves grease as well or as quickly as ammonia. A lot of people don’t buy ammonia because of its unpleasant odor, but keep this in mind. The odd thing about ammonia is that when it evaporates, it leaves no odor behind – none at all. Zero. You can smell most cleaners long after the water in them evaporates, but not ammonia. I recommend using paper towels rather a sponge when using ammonia to remove grease. It can be very hard to get grease out of a sponge. Never mix ammonia with other cleaning agents, especially bleach. Ammonia and bleach react chemically with each other to produce chlorine gas, which is very dangerous. Ammonia is cheap. A large bottle of Parsons sudsy ammonia costs under $2.

Freebies Of The Month

broilerpanBroiler Pan. If your stove doesn’t have a broiler pan, or if your broiler pan is damaged or has baked-on crud that won’t come off, you can get a free new broiler pan from me. I always have them in stock. See photo below.

Maple Almond Walnut Granola. I am making granola again. My granola is a mixture of old fashioned oats, nuts, dark maple syrup, canola oil, molasses, and salt. A number of people have suggested that I should sell my granola, but that isn’t going to happen. I could never sell it commercially. It costs too much to make. The price of almonds and walnuts has gone through the roof due to the California drought, and my granola is 1/3 nuts. (80% of all the almonds in the world are grown in California.) Plus maple syrup is 10 times more expensive than white sugar, which is what most supermarket granola is sweetened with. You can pick up containers of my granola in the chocolate room.