Monthly Archives: April 2020

WHY YOUR GRASS IS NOT GETTING MOWED.

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I know that your grass needs mowing, but I have told my gardener not to come here. I want you to know that I am not doing this from neglect. Because of the COVID-19 epidemic, it is now illegal in Alameda County (and most of the rest of California) to hire somebody to mow your grass or do gardening work unless it is to “prevent a dangerous condition such as fire prevention or tree trimming and not for cosmetic or other purposes, such as upkeep.” (Alameda County Health Officer Order, Section 13. Definitions, ‘f’ Essential Businesses, ‘xiii’ Arborists, landscapers, gardeners.) I don’t understand why the health department isn’t allowing gardeners to mow people’s grass. ​​If a gardener is working alone and no one else is in the yard, where is the risk? ​Besides, the​ grass at Berkeley city parks and school playgrounds is getting mowed. ​I don’t see the logic of this, but nevertheless, it​ is​ the law.

WHAT’S HOT AND WHAT’S NOT AT AMAZON.

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So many people are hoarding food now that the most popular foods​ that​ they sell on Amazon are ​largely ​sold out. A lot of what s available for immediate shipment is the stuff nobody wants. For example, Armour canned roast beef is sold out, but Rose’s Pork Brains in Milk Gravy is available for immediate shipment, and you get all you want.​ See:​ Pork Brains. The listing says that Rose​’s​ is ‘Amazon’s Choice’ for canned pork brains, but that isn’t enough to get me to buy​, much less eat,​ this product. Now is the time when you find out what nobody will buy – even when they are hoarding food. Here are some other food items that are available for immediate shipment from Amazon.

Clamdy Candy Canes. Peppermint candy canes are sold out, but they have lots of clam candy canes in stock. The listing says that this is ‘Amazon’s Choice’ for clam candy. Clamdy Canes.

Sauer Frau Squeezable Sauer Kraut. The description on Amazon of this product says that this is “an authentic German sauer kraut made from an Old World recipe.” Well, excuse me, but I know lots of Germans and none of them eat sauer kraut out of a squeeze tube. Sauer Frau.

Pickle Soda. Pickle flavored soda is expensive, $6.95 a bottle, but even if it was cheaper, would you buy it? Pickle Soda.

Sweet Sue Canned Whole Chicken. I’ve eaten Kirkland canned chicken breast meat. It’s not as good as fresh, but it’s not bad. But it’s sold out. A canned whole chicken is something entirely different. Imagine, a whole chicken, including the skin and bones, in a can. This may be the single most unappetizing item on this list. See photos below. Sweet Sue is ‘Amazon’s Choice’ for canned whole chicken.

JUICE BOXES ARE NOT RECYCLABLE.

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Aseptic packaging, also known as juice boxes or Tetra-Pak bricks, are not recyclable. Don’t put them in your recycling can. They should go in your regular garbage can. Although Berkeley and Oakland recycle a very wide variety of plastic products, there is no practical way to recycle aseptic packaging. That is because this packaging is not made out of a single material, like paper or plastic. Aseptic packaging is a combination of plastic, paper, and metal foil all glued together. On the city of Berkeley web site, it says that they don’t accept aseptic packaging for recycling because they “have uncertain end markets.” What does it mean? It means that although it is theoretically possible to recycle this stuff, there is no practical way to do it. Aseptic packaging is one of reasons why China, India, and many other countries will no longer accept American trash for recycling. Americans mix everything together in recycling cans – products that are recyclable, products that Americans think are recyclable but actually aren’t, plus ordinary garbage. The food processing and plastics industries in the U.S. have been criticized for a long time for labeling products ‘recyclable’, ‘biodegradable’, and ‘compostable’ in ways that are either highly deceptive or just plain false. Plastic products that are often labeled ‘recyclable’ but that are not actually recyclable include: coffee cup lids, coffee stirrers, straws, cutlery, bottle caps, potato chip bags, and styrofoam. Remember – you can often get a lot more garbage in your garbage can if you take the caps off aseptic boxes and milk cartons first!

IRISH HUMOR & IRISH NAMES.

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Irish humor falls into 2 categories – jokes based on illogic and jokes about priests and nuns. Here are examples of both.

Illogic. (This is not an Irish joke. This is what I actually tell people if they ask me if I believe in astrology.)  I do not believe in astrology. The reason why I don’t believe in astrology is because I’m an Aries, and therefore, governed by the planet Mars. Like other Aries, I am suspicious and confident that I am right, and that is why I am sure that astrology is just plain nonsense. On the other hand, my stepsister does believe in astrology, but that is because she is a Pisces, and Pisces are the most psychic of all people.

Priests. (This one actually is an old Irish joke.) After mass, a sobbing Mrs. Crowley approached Father Sullivan. Father Sullivan said: “Mary, what is troubling you?” She said: “Father, I have terrible news. My husband passed away last night.” Father Sullivan said: “That is terrible news. Did Cassidy have any last requests?” Mrs. Crowley said: “Yes. He had one last request. Just before my husband died, he said: ‘Mary – please – put down the gun.'”

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A ‘Mc’ AND AN ‘O’ IN IRISH LAST NAMES?

A lot of Irish last names begin with ‘Mc’ or an ‘O’, like McCarthy or O’Sullivan, but what’s the difference? ‘Mc’ comes from the Irish word ‘mac’, which means ‘son.’ ‘O’ means ‘grandson’. Ireland was one of the first countries in Europe to use surnames. When people in Ireland started using surnames, around 1,000AD, most were patronymic, meaning they were based on the name of the father and were added to someone​’​s first name. However, many last names were based a person’s grandfather’s name. That was because life expectancy was often quite short in those days. A lot of people were raised by their grandparents because their fathers died young.

YOU JUST CAN’T PLEASE SOME TENANTS!

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Take a look at the photo below. The tenants at this apartment house complained to the landlord that they were seeing suspicious characters in the yard and on the walkways between the apartments. They asked the landlord to install a security gate at the entrance to the yard. The landlord gave the tenants what they asked for. He had a contractor install a security gate at the entrance to the yard, but for some reason, the tenants are still not satisfied. Can you figure out why?