I collect gems of bad writing from my history students. Here are some goodies from my students’ homework of long ago.
“Napoleon Bonaparte was as short as he was tall. That’s called a Napoleon complex.”
“The first time John F. Kennedy was assassinated was in Dallas, Texas. The second time was in Washington, D.C.”
“Joan of Arc defeated the English in the Hundred Years War. Even after the English burned her at the stake, Joan would not give up and continued to fight the English until they left France.”
“King Louis XIV raised taxes in France sky high, filling his coiffures with gold.”
“Coluche the clown ran for president of France. Coluche was world famous, but only in France.”
“We took a tour of Notre Dame cathedral in Paris. The tour guide was a French priest who spoke English surprisingly well considering how short he was.”
“Alexander the Great was needed back in Greece, but he was in Persia, and he couldn’t be in 2 places at the same time. Only Roman generals could do that.”
“During the Gold Rush, wagon trains heading for California went right through Salt Lake City, where the miners stopped to buy salt water taffy from the Mormons.”
“Christopher Columbus is buried in Spain and the Dominican Republic.”