Free Bicycle Helmets!

I was looking at my tenant’s bicycle helmets in the bike shed that we share, and I was shocked at what I saw. Several helmets looked really beat up. Even worse, 2 of them were missing parts designed to hold the helmet onto your head. If you would like a free brand-new bicycle helmet, I will pay for it! This is – as they say – a limited time offer. If you buy a new bicycle helmet between now and September 1, bring me the receipt, and I will reimburse you up to $75 in cash. That should be enough to buy a good bike helmet. If you don’t need a new bicycle helmet, I will pay up to $75 for the purchase of bicycle safety equipment instead, including lights, reflectors, locks, pumps, repair kits, and pressure gauges.

P.S. – You don’t have to point out that this offer is pure paternalism on my part. I am aware of that. I am sorry if anyone is offended by this offer, but on the other hand, I don’t know of any other landlord in town who is giving away free bicycle helmets.