A pound of chocolate weighs considerably more than a pound of gold. That is because the U.S. uses English weights and measures, which are often irrational and confusing. In the U.S., chocolate and most other things are weighed in a system called avoirdupois, in which there are 16 ounces in a pound. Gold and other precious metals are measured in the troy system, in which there are 12 ounces in a pound. It is more obvious in the metric system which pound is heavier. A pound of gold weighs 373 grams, but a pound of chocolate weighs 454 grams. 

WHAT WEIGHS MORE, A TON OF CHOCOLATE OR A TON OF COAL? The coal weighs more. In the U.S., chocolate is weighed in regular tons. There are 2,000 pounds in a regular ton. Coal and many other commodities are weighed in long tons. There are 2,240 pounds in a long ton, so a ton of coal weighs 240 pounds more than a ton of chocolate. The rest of the world uses the metric ton, which weighs 1,000 kilograms. So, in Germany, for example, a ton of chocolate weighs exactly the same as a ton of coal.

HOW MANY OUNCES ARE IN A GALLON? That depends on whether it is an American gallon or an Imperial gallon. An American gallon contains 128 ounces. An Imperial gallon, which is used in Canada and many other British Commonwealth countries, contains 160 ounces. To make matters more confusing, there are 2 ways to measure ounces. There are dry ounces and fluid ounces. Gallons are measured in fluid ounces.

HOW MANY ZEROS ARE IN A BILLION?

In the United States, one billion = 1,000,000,000 (a 1 with 9 zeros). In Britain, one billion = 1,000,000,000,000 (a 1 with 12 zeros).

In the United States one trillion = 1,000,000,000,000 (a 1 with 12 zeros). In Britain, one trillion = 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 (a 1 with 18 zeros).

Try asking the questions above to people who should know the answers: math and science majors. Very few of them will get them right. I sometimes wonder if the foreign students at U.C. Berkeley learned anything about the U.S. system of weights and measures before coming here. I also wonder if math and science students who come here from countries where people speak British English get confused about how many zeros there are in large numbers like a billion.

HAVE YOU BEEN EATING MY COASTERS?

I used to keep beverage coasters in my guest cottage, the Tool Shed; however, I just removed them because they kept getting eaten by either my guests or my tenant’s guests. See photo below. Nobody ate a whole coaster. After taking one bite, these people must have realized that these coasters are made out of cork and are inedible. This has happened 3 times. I removed the coasters because I became concerned that someday, somebody was going to eat a whole coaster, get sick, go to the hospital, and then sue me for not having a warning label on the coaster saying: ‘Do not eat this coaster!’ I don’t know who has been eating my coasters or why. Nobody has come forward and confessed. Is it you? My stepsister eats a lot of rice cakes, and her rice cakes look a lot like my coasters; however, I haven’t had the guts to ask her – or anybody else: “Have you been eating my coasters?” If I buy new coasters, I am going to have to get coasters that are more obviously inedible.

WHO HAS BEEN EATING THE FAKE APPLES AT IKEA?

Ikea has plastic apples in their kitchenware displays. Whenever I go to Ikea in Emeryville, I look at the fake apples. All of them have teeth marks in them. See my photo below. An employee at Ikea told me that they replace the plastic apples with teeth marks in them, but then they have to replace them again when the new fake apples also have teeth marks in them. I have a cousin here in Berkeley who teaches art at a public school in Oakland. She told me that she has seen teeth marks in the fake apples in her classroom as well. There is something about this that I don’t understand. The plastic apples at Ikea are hollow. They weigh less than an ounce, so it must be obvious to anyone picking up one of these fake apples that it is a fake apple. So – why do people keep trying to eat them? Could they be the same people who are eating my coasters?

IS PLANT-BASED MEAT HEALTHIER THAN THE REAL THING?

Most people believe that plant-based meat is healthier than the real thing, but is that true? In order to make a vegan hamburger look and smell like the real thing, the ingredients are ultra-processed. An Impossible Burger contains about the same number of calories and the same amount of saturated fat as a McDonald’s Quarter Pounder, but the Impossible Burger contains much less protein and 6 times more salt. Just because a product is plant-based doesn’t mean that it’s good for you. Coca Cola and cigarettes are also plant-based.

FREEZING FOOD.

Most people freeze the wrong foods. Some foods that are commonly frozen taste awful after they have been frozen. I have never understood why people buy frozen peas and carrots. Peas freeze well, but carrots do not. My high school cafeteria used to serve peas and carrots quite often. I ate the peas but pushed the carrot cubes to the side of my plate and then dumped them. Here are some foods that most people don’t freeze but that freeze very well in freezer zip-lok bags.

1. Brown Sugar. Brown sugar will turn hard as rock with time if you store it in a kitchen cabinet, but it will stay soft almost indefinitely in your freezer.

2. Chocolate. Your freezer is the best place to store chocolate that you use infrequently, like unsweetened baking chocolate. Fully defrost chocolate in a zip-lok bag before opening the bag ro avoid condensation on the chocolate’s surface. That can cause chocolate to bloom.

3. Muffins.  I store muffins in my freezer, and they always taste fine after I defrost them.

4. Butter. Butter at Safeway is $4.99 a pound right now. It is $2.50 a pound at Costco, but you have to buy 4 pounds at a time. It can take a long time for most people to go through 4 pounds of butter. Most dairy products do not freeze well, but butter freezes very well.

5. Bacon. Bacon is another product that costs twice as much at Safeway as it does at Costco, but you have to buy 4 – 1 pound packages at a time. Bacon is the easiest thing in the world to freeze because it is already vacuum sealed. Just toss it in the freezer. Most people don’t realize it, but a lot of the bacon sold in supermarkets arrives at the store frozen.

IT’S ENGLAND VS. IRELAND IN MY CHOCOLATE ROOM!My English toffee proved to be very popular, so now I am also making Irish toffee. The crunchy center of both is the same. Both are 30% butter. However, English toffee is dipped in milk chocolate and then covered in chopped almonds. Irish toffee is covered in dark chocolate and then dusted with a little sea salt. The English and the Irish have always disagreed as to what type of chocolate goes best with toffee. Both ways are very good.
P.S. – I am told that this is not the only issue that the English and the Irish are not in complete agreement about.

CONSTRUCTION TIPS FOR CALIFORNIA LANDLORDS.
If you are thinking about buying a rental property in California someday, these tips may be helpful to you: Construction Tips For California Landlords.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS?
Look at the metal object in my hand in photos below. Do you know what it is? Your parents and grandparents know what it is. It is an ashtray from a Boeing 737 from the 1980s. Every seat had an ashtray in the armrest. The smoke on airplanes was sometimes so thick that you couldn’t see the faces of people more than 3 rows behind you. Everything beyond that was just a white cloud. On some flights, flight attendants walked down the aisles handing passengers little packs of free cigarettes. I had a hard time breathing on airplanes, and the longer the flight lasted, the harder it became to breathe. I used to ask for a window seat because the air was a little better over the air vents under the window, but there was no place to escape from the smoke. Smoking on flights in the U.S. was banned in 2000.

COMMENTS? If you want to comment on any article in this newsletter, you can do so at: Mark Tarses Blog