Years before Adolf Hitler came to power in Germany, rumors circulated all over Europe that Hitler was secretly Jewish, but could that be true? In order to answer this question, you need to understand how the Nazis defined their terms. The Nazis believed that there are 2 pure races in the world, Aryans and Jews, and that everyone else in the world is of mixed race. The Nazis were never able to identify Jews or Aryans by physical characteristics so the only way you could prove that you were an Aryan in Nazi Germany was by obtaining an Aryan Certificate. In order to get an Aryan Certificate, a person had to fill out a form stating the names of his parents and grandparents and certify that none of them were Jewish. However, Adolf Hitler couldn’t do that. He didn’t know the name of one of his grandparents. Adolf Hitler’s father, Alois, was born out of wedlock, and his mother, Maria Schiklgruber, refused to name the father. At the time Maria Schiklgruber became pregnant, she was working as a housemaid in the home of a wealthy Jewish merchant named Frankenberger. He had 2 sons living in the house with him and with her. It doesn’t take much imagination to figure out what the rumors were around town. Adolf Hitler was very aware of the fact that a lot of people suspected he was Jewish, and when he came to power, he took actions designed to squash the rumors. Hitler had family records destroyed. He had people who knew his father murdered, and he had a provision put in the Aryan Race Law stating that there were 2 people, and only 2 people, who were ‘indisputably Aryan’ and were therefore exempt from the requirements of the Aryan Race Law – himself and Jesus Christ. (How could Hitler prove that Jesus didn’t have any Jewish ancestors?) In 2010, 2 Belgian journalists collected saliva samples from 39 of Adolf Hitler’s known living relatives and had their DNA tested. It showed that the Hitler family haplogroup is rare in Western Europe but common among Sephardic Jews in North Africa. That didn’t prove that Adolf Hitler was Jewish, but it did add to people’s suspicions.
Willie Hitler. This guy has always fascinated me. William Patrick Hitler was Adolf Hitler’s nephew. Most people were so afraid of Adolf Hitler that they didn’t dare say anything that might offend him, but Willie told everybody that he thought Naziism was evil, including ‘Uncle Adolf.’ Willie was born in England and had a British passport. He was, therefore, under the protection of the British government. After having dinner with Willie, Adolf Hitler told Herman Goering that he would rather have several teeth pulled without anesthesia rather than have dinner with Willie again. Willie Hitler sent several blackmail letters addressed to ‘Dear Uncle Adolf.’ Willie repeatedly asked ‘Uncle Adolf’ to help him get a good-paying job in Germany. That would have been very easy for Adolf Hitler to do. Willie stated in his letters that if ‘Uncle Adolf’ didn’t help him, Willie would be forced to sell a story to a London tabloid revealing some family secret. We don’t know what that secret was, but Willie knew all about the Frankenbergers. Willie moved to the United States just before the start of World War 2. Upon arriving in the U.S., Willie traveled around the country giving anti-Nazi lectures. After Adolf Hitler declared war on the United States, Willie tried to join the U.S. Navy. A suspicious recruiting officer asked Willie: “Isn’t your uncle Adolf Hitler?” When Willie said: “Yes, he is”, his application was immediately stamped ‘Rejected.’ After making a personal appeal to President Franklin Roosevelt, Willie was allowed to join the navy. He won a purple heart. After the war, Willie had 3 children. They live on Long Island under assumed names. Understandably, none of them want their neighbors to know that their real name is ‘Hitler.’
The word ‘spoof’ usually refers to a kind of joke or harmless prank, but caller I.D. spoofing is neither funny nor harmless. It is a form of fraud used by identity thieves. Imagine this situation. Your phone rings. Your caller I.D. says the call is from Bank of America. The caller says: “Hi. My name is Matilda Yakabovski. I’m calling from Bank of America’s security department. There has been some suspicious activity in your account. We would like to make sure that these transactions are legitimate. Would you please confirm your account number and password?” This phone call is a caller I.D. spoof from someone trying to steal your password.
Caller I.D. spoofing is a technological trick that allows callers to change the name and phone number that appears on your caller I.D. screen to whatever the spoofer wants. Every year, millions of Americans fall victim to caller I.D. and email spoofing scams (also known as ‘phishing’). Here is how to protect yourself from caller I.D. spoofing.
1. Never give personal information over the phone unless you initiated the call yourself and you know for certain who you are talking to.
2. Your bank or credit card company will never call you and ask you what your account number is. Obviously, they already know that. If the caller can’t tell you what your account number is, then you are speaking to a crook.
3. Banks, credit card companies, and government agencies do not call people on the phone to ‘confirm’ or ‘update’ your personal information, such as your social security or driver’s license number, PIN number, security code, password, mother’s maiden name, etc.
4. Do not call the phone number in an email message or click the hyperlink to contact a company where you have an account. Call the phone number on the last statement you received from them.
5. If you think you have been scammed by a caller I.D. spoof, contact the company right away and tell them what happened.
6. Never follow the instructions from a caller I.D. or robocall, such as: “If you do not wish to receive any more phone calls from us, press 7′. Just hang up the phone.
7. Don’t be bullied. Be very suspicious if the caller is pushy, demanding, or threatening. Scammers often claim to be government agents and threaten people unless you send them money immediately. A favorite is: “You failed to appear for jury duty. Unless you pay a fine of $500 immediately, a bench warrant will be issued for your arrest.” These people usually want you to pay these so-called fines with gift cards or cryptocurrency.
8. Get a free credit report on yourself and look for suspicious activity. Go to: https://www.annualcreditreport.com/index.action This website is operated jointly by the 3 big credit reporting agencies, Experian, TransUnion, and Equifax. They are required to provide free credit reports on this site under the Fair Credit Reporting Act. Do not go to other websites with similar names or that have ‘free’ in their names. They aren’t free. Never give a credit card number to get your credit report.
DOES LIGHTNING EVER STRIKE THE SAME PLACE TWICE?
There is an old saying that goes: ‘Lightning never strikes the same place twice’, but lightning often strikes the same place twice. The Empire State Building is struck by lightning about 25 times a year. Lots of people are struck by lightning more than once. Walter Summerford was a British officer from an upper-class family. During World War 1, he was struck by lightning while on the Western Front. The lightning strike left him paralyzed in both legs. In 1924, Summerford was struck again by lightning. Strangely, this time the lightning cured his paralysis. 2 days later, he was able to walk again. In 1930, Summerford was struck by lightning for a third time, leaving him paralyzed once again. He died in 1932. In 1936, his grave was struck by lightning, destroying the gravestone. See photo below.
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF JAMES OTIS?
James Otis was one of the leaders of the American Revolution. He is best remembered for his sayings, which include: “Taxation without representation is tyranny” and “A man’s home is his castle.” Otis is the reason we have the 4th Amendment in the Constitution banning warrantless searches. In 1783, while James Otis was standing on the porch of a friend’s house, he was struck by a bolt of lightning and killed instantly. Strangely, there were no marks on his body or his clothes and no one else on the small porch was affected by the lightning strike.
WHAT IS THE WORST LOCATED BASEBALL STADIUM IN THE U.S.?
There are a lot to choose from, but I pick Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Their stadium is located on a low-lying island in the Susquehanna River that floods frequently. The original stadium at this location was washed away by a flood in 1935. Then, a second stadium was built at the same location. It also flooded frequently and rotted away. In 1987, the mayor of Harrisburg ordered the construction of a third stadium at the same location. It also floods frequently. Harrisburg had a mayor at that time who made a lot of very bad decisions. So – what should Harrisburg do with their oft-flooded stadium? I think they should use the stadium to hold Naumaquias. What’s that? The ancient Romans periodically filled the Coliseum with water and recreated famous naval battles there (only naval battles that the Romans won, of course.) The Romans built full-size warships inside the Coliseum for this. Huge numbers of combatants and rowers participated in these battles. Thousands of them were killed. The Romans liked battle recreations to be as realistic as possible. Naumaquias were very popular with audiences. But – where would Harrisburg get volunteers to participate in deadly sea battles? From the same place the Romans got them – prisons. The Romans gave freedoms to condemned prisoners who participated in Naumaqias, provided they survived and fought fiercely. This is the solution to Harrisburg’s stadium problem. People would come from all over the U.S. to see a real Roman Naumaquia!
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO BERKELEY’S 99¢ ONLY STORE?
A visit to this store is worthwhile just to look at the ceiling. The ceiling seems extremely lavish for a 99-cent store. It is located at 1941 San Pablo Avenue. See photo below. The building was originally the Rivoli Theater. It was built in 1924 and seated 1,400 people. The theater closed in the 1950s and has been used as a store ever since. The original ceiling is still intact, but few people who shop at the store look up and notice it. Contrary to the store’s name, the merchandise has never been 99 cents only.
IDEALIZING LIFE IN THE OLD COUNTRY.
My grandparents, Bores Tarses and Pauline Tarses came to America from Ukraine. Ukraine is in the news every day now, but few Americans realize what a horrible place this has been to live in over the past 120 years. First came the Russo-Japanese War, then World War 1, and then the Russian Revolution. Countless millions of Ukrainians were killed. Then came a typhus epidemic that killed 2 million. Then came Stalin’s Terror Famine of the 1930s. Between 3 and 4 million Ukrainians died of starvation. Millions more were sent to the Gulag, Stalin’s slave labor camps. Few of those people returned home. Then came World War 2. Between 5 and 7 million Ukrainians were killed, including all of my grandparent’s sisters and brothers who had not come to America. Today, Ukraine is among the poorest countries in Europe. Per capita income is $13,000 a year (or it was before the current war began). By comparison, per capita income in neighboring Poland is $33,000 a year, and Poland is a relatively poor European country. Nevertheless, my grandmother talked about Ukraine as though it was a wonderful place, even though terrible things were going on there at the time she left. Old people who moved to America when they were young all seem to do what my grandmother did – idealizing the place where they came from. Maybe your grandparents talk the same way about the places they came from. But – if life was really as wonderful in the Old Country as they remembered it, then why did they move to the United States?
CHOCOLATE DESSERTS.
A gimmick that many restaurants use to get absurdly high prices is serving food in a way that is designed to surprise or shock people. Below are pictures of chocolate desserts from some expensive restaurants. One restaurant serves 2 truffles on a flip-flop for $30. You get to keep the flip-flop (just one flip flop). Another serves truffles on a horse manure fork for $85. For $60, you can get ground chocolate wafers and mascarpone in an overturned flower pot. The chocolate dessert ball is $100. I have no idea what the wrench is for. If you know what the wrench is for, let me know. I’m curious about that.
COMMENTS? If you want to comment on any article in this newsletter, you can do so at: Mark Tarses Blog
A pound of chocolate weighs considerably more than a pound of gold. That is because the U.S. uses English weights and measures, which are often irrational and confusing. In the U.S., chocolate and most other things are weighed in a system called avoirdupois, in which there are 16 ounces in a pound. Gold and other precious metals are measured in the troy system, in which there are 12 ounces in a pound. It is more obvious in the metric system which pound is heavier. A pound of gold weighs 373 grams, but a pound of chocolate weighs 454 grams.
WHAT WEIGHS MORE, A TON OF CHOCOLATE OR A TON OF COAL? The coal weighs more. In the U.S., chocolate is weighed in regular tons. There are 2,000 pounds in a regular ton. Coal and many other commodities are weighed in long tons. There are 2,240 pounds in a long ton, so a ton of coal weighs 240 pounds more than a ton of chocolate. The rest of the world uses the metric ton, which weighs 1,000 kilograms. So, in Germany, for example, a ton of chocolate weighs exactly the same as a ton of coal.
HOW MANY OUNCES ARE IN A GALLON? That depends on whether it is an American gallon or an Imperial gallon. An American gallon contains 128 ounces. An Imperial gallon, which is used in Canada and many other British Commonwealth countries, contains 160 ounces. To make matters more confusing, there are 2 ways to measure ounces. There are dry ounces and fluid ounces. Gallons are measured in fluid ounces.
HOW MANY ZEROS ARE IN A BILLION?
In the United States, one billion = 1,000,000,000 (a 1 with 9 zeros). In Britain, one billion = 1,000,000,000,000 (a 1 with 12 zeros).
In the United States one trillion = 1,000,000,000,000 (a 1 with 12 zeros). In Britain, one trillion = 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 (a 1 with 18 zeros).
Try asking the questions above to people who should know the answers: math and science majors. Very few of them will get them right. I sometimes wonder if the foreign students at U.C. Berkeley learned anything about the U.S. system of weights and measures before coming here. I also wonder if math and science students who come here from countries where people speak British English get confused about how many zeros there are in large numbers like a billion.
HAVE YOU BEEN EATING MY COASTERS?
I used to keep beverage coasters in my guest cottage, the Tool Shed; however, I just removed them because they kept getting eaten by either my guests or my tenant’s guests. See photo below. Nobody ate a whole coaster. After taking one bite, these people must have realized that these coasters are made out of cork and are inedible. This has happened 3 times. I removed the coasters because I became concerned that someday, somebody was going to eat a whole coaster, get sick, go to the hospital, and then sue me for not having a warning label on the coaster saying: ‘Do not eat this coaster!’ I don’t know who has been eating my coasters or why. Nobody has come forward and confessed. Is it you? My stepsister eats a lot of rice cakes, and her rice cakes look a lot like my coasters; however, I haven’t had the guts to ask her – or anybody else: “Have you been eating my coasters?” If I buy new coasters, I am going to have to get coasters that are more obviously inedible.
WHO HAS BEEN EATING THE FAKE APPLES AT IKEA?
Ikea has plastic apples in their kitchenware displays. Whenever I go to Ikea in Emeryville, I look at the fake apples. All of them have teeth marks in them. See my photo below. An employee at Ikea told me that they replace the plastic apples with teeth marks in them, but then they have to replace them again when the new fake apples also have teeth marks in them. I have a cousin here in Berkeley who teaches art at a public school in Oakland. She told me that she has seen teeth marks in the fake apples in her classroom as well. There is something about this that I don’t understand. The plastic apples at Ikea are hollow. They weigh less than an ounce, so it must be obvious to anyone picking up one of these fake apples that it is a fake apple. So – why do people keep trying to eat them? Could they be the same people who are eating my coasters?
IS PLANT-BASED MEAT HEALTHIER THAN THE REAL THING?
Most people believe that plant-based meat is healthier than the real thing, but is that true? In order to make a vegan hamburger look and smell like the real thing, the ingredients are ultra-processed. An Impossible Burger contains about the same number of calories and the same amount of saturated fat as a McDonald’s Quarter Pounder, but the Impossible Burger contains much less protein and 6 times more salt. Just because a product is plant-based doesn’t mean that it’s good for you. Coca Cola and cigarettes are also plant-based.
FREEZING FOOD.
Most people freeze the wrong foods. Some foods that are commonly frozen taste awful after they have been frozen. I have never understood why people buy frozen peas and carrots. Peas freeze well, but carrots do not. My high school cafeteria used to serve peas and carrots quite often. I ate the peas but pushed the carrot cubes to the side of my plate and then dumped them. Here are some foods that most people don’t freeze but that freeze very well in freezer zip-lok bags.
1. Brown Sugar. Brown sugar will turn hard as rock with time if you store it in a kitchen cabinet, but it will stay soft almost indefinitely in your freezer.
2. Chocolate. Your freezer is the best place to store chocolate that you use infrequently, like unsweetened baking chocolate. Fully defrost chocolate in a zip-lok bag before opening the bag ro avoid condensation on the chocolate’s surface. That can cause chocolate to bloom.
3. Muffins. I store muffins in my freezer, and they always taste fine after I defrost them.
4. Butter. Butter at Safeway is $4.99 a pound right now. It is $2.50 a pound at Costco, but you have to buy 4 pounds at a time. It can take a long time for most people to go through 4 pounds of butter. Most dairy products do not freeze well, but butter freezes very well.
5. Bacon. Bacon is another product that costs twice as much at Safeway as it does at Costco, but you have to buy 4 – 1 pound packages at a time. Bacon is the easiest thing in the world to freeze because it is already vacuum sealed. Just toss it in the freezer. Most people don’t realize it, but a lot of the bacon sold in supermarkets arrives at the store frozen.
IT’S ENGLAND VS. IRELAND IN MY CHOCOLATE ROOM!My English toffee proved to be very popular, so now I am also making Irish toffee. The crunchy center of both is the same. Both are 30% butter. However, English toffee is dipped in milk chocolate and then covered in chopped almonds. Irish toffee is covered in dark chocolate and then dusted with a little sea salt. The English and the Irish have always disagreed as to what type of chocolate goes best with toffee. Both ways are very good. P.S. – I am told that this is not the only issue that the English and the Irish are not in complete agreement about. CONSTRUCTION TIPS FOR CALIFORNIA LANDLORDS. If you are thinking about buying a rental property in California someday, these tips may be helpful to you: Construction Tips For California Landlords.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS? Look at the metal object in my hand in photos below. Do you know what it is? Your parents and grandparents know what it is. It is an ashtray from a Boeing 737 from the 1980s. Every seat had an ashtray in the armrest. The smoke on airplanes was sometimes so thick that you couldn’t see the faces of people more than 3 rows behind you. Everything beyond that was just a white cloud. On some flights, flight attendants walked down the aisles handing passengers little packs of free cigarettes. I had a hard time breathing on airplanes, and the longer the flight lasted, the harder it became to breathe. I used to ask for a window seat because the air was a little better over the air vents under the window, but there was no place to escape from the smoke. Smoking on flights in the U.S. was banned in 2000.
COMMENTS? If you want to comment on any article in this newsletter, you can do so at: Mark Tarses Blog
I thought that the most popular item on my Christmas gift list would be the electric scooter, but nobody took one. Over half my tenants picked Bose headphones, which surprised me, although perhaps it shouldn’t have. Headphone technology has changed a lot. The sound quality has improved greatly. Also, most older headphones connect to an iPhone with a wire, but new iPhones don’t have headphone jacks. It is possible to connect wired headphones to a new iPhone with an adaptor, but wired headphones are clearly heading for the electronic scrap heap along with floppy disks and VHS video tapes.
RING DOORBELL. I thought about putting Ring doorbells on my Christmas gift list, but I didn’t think that any of my tenants would want one. Let me know if I was wrong about that. Here is a great Ring doorbell story. A woman got a text message while she was at work saying that the motion detector in her doorbell indicated that someone was at her front door and moving back and forth between the door and the window next to it, but not ringing the bell or leaving the property. So naturally she called the police. The police came and looked around the house but found nothing wrong. Later, when the woman returned home, she reviewed the video the doorbell made and found the suspect. See the photo below.
Tycho Brahe. In the 16th Century, Tycho Brahe was the richest man in Denmark. He was a member of 2 royal Scandinavian families. Tycho Brahe was also Denmark’s most famous astronomer. Brahe built an observatory in his home, Knutstorp Castle, where he made several important astronomical discoveries. Perhaps his most important discovery was the supernova, a dying star. It is very rare that people get to observe the death of a star with the naked eye, but that happened in Brahe’s time. In 1572, Brahe observed a bright new star unexpectedly appearing in the night sky. It grew bright and gradually disappeared. Other scientists saw it as well but most of them thought that a comet in our solar system had exploded, but Brahe did some mathematical calculations and proved that it was a star located far beyond our solar system. Brahe correctly concluded that this was the explosion and death of a star. His discovery radically changed the way people thought about the universe. Since ancient times, people had accepted Aristotle’s theory that everything beyond the moon was fixed in its place, unchanging, and permanent. Brahe showed that stars are impermanent and that therefore, so are their planets. Aristotle was wrong and the Buddha was right about impermanence. There is nothing in the universe that is fixed, unchanging, and permanent.
Tycho Brahe’s Alcoholic Moose. While Tycho Brahe was a serious scientist, he lived a life of great luxury. One of Brahe’s luxuries was his pet, an 800-pound moose. The moose lived in Brahe’s castle. Brahe took the moose with him wherever he went. The moose trotted behind Brahe’s carriage like a faithful dog. The moose attended the elegant parties and banquets Tycho Brahe gave for his relatives and fellow scientists. The moose was also Brahe’s drinking buddy. Tycho Brahe and his moose were both heavy drinkers. The moose’s favorite beverage was Danish beer, which it consumed by the barrel. Brahe and his moose got drunk together along with Brahe’s friends, night after night. One night, at a banquet for Danish noblemen in Brahe’s castle, the moose climbed a flight of stairs while drunk, lost his balance, fell down the stairs and died as a result of the fall. I have heard that it is not unusual for people to die by falling down stairs while drunk, but how often do you suppose moose die that way? Probably not very often.
All my life, I have heard people say that poor people are happier than rich people, but I don’t believe it, and I never have. It seems like it is mostly rich people who say that. When Irving Berlin wrote the song ‘The Best Things in Life Are Free’, he was the richest and highest paid songwriter in the world. The same was true when the Beatles wrote ‘I don’t care too much for money. Money can’t buy me love.’ I’ve met poor people who believed that rich people are unhappy because “they have too much money to be happy”, but if having a lot of money really made people unhappy, then rich people would give away all their money, but they rarely do that. Poverty does not make people happy, and money does not make people unhappy. As my Uncle Irv Tarses (who was rich) used to say: “Whether you’re rich or poor, it’s nice to have money.”
DOESN’T GREAT WEALTH MAKE SOME PEOPLE UNHAPPY?
Yes. Sometimes. Rich people can afford to do things that would make anyone unhappy. Look at the photo below of 3 girls in China around 1900. The girl in the middle is rich. Her 2 companions are poor. The barefoot girl on the left is a slave. The girl on the right wearing shoes is a Christian servant. The rich girl in the middle has bound feet. She is crippled and can only walk slowly and for short distances. The 2 poor girls are her crutches. Foot binding was a common practice among rich people in China. Rich people can also afford to spend huge sums of money on quack doctors and quack medicine. A lot of famous rich people have died from that, like Steve Jobs, the founder of Apple. By the time Steve Jobs accepted the fact that you can’t cure cancer with exotic fruit juice and acupuncture treatments in Switzerland; his cancer had spread to the point that it was inoperable.
WHAT IS PRICE GOUGING?
The California state legislature passed a law in 2019 limiting most rent increases to 10% a year. Anything more than that is defined as ‘price gouging’. But what is ‘price gouging’? It currently costs between $3 and $4 to manufacture a vial of insulin, which according to Good Rx Health currently retails nationally for between $175 and $350. See: Insulin Prices. Now, it is possible to live without an apartment or paying rent. There are hundreds of people living in RVs in west Berkeley. However, diabetics die, and die quickly, without insulin. The patent on insulin expired generations ago so any pharmaceutical company can manufacture insulin without permission or paying a royalty. So this means that an 11% rent increase in California is ‘price gouging’ but charging $300 for a vial of insulin that cost $3 to make is ‘health care’.
The worldwide beaver population has exploded in the last 100 years. See the map below. The brown areas have beaver populations. Beavers were hunted to extinction in many places for their fur, but fashions changed. Men don’t wear beaver hats anymore. See the photo below of some well-dressed gentleman in Boise, Idaho in the 1890s, all wearing beaver top hats. Also, because of global warming, beavers are now thriving in places where it was too cold for them before, like Alaska and Siberia. Some respected scientific publications claim that beavers contribute to global warming because the water in their ponds trap solar heat, and that heat melts the permafrost beneath them. I refuse to believe that beavers are responsible for global warming, but I may be prejudiced about this. I like beavers.
“My Dog Has Anger Management Issues.” I once rented an apartment in Oakland, and I advertised that I would allow a dog or a cat. One applicant checked off on his application form that he had a dog but left the description line blank. I asked him what kind of dog he had. He said that he didn’t know. That set off an alarm bell for me. I know something is wrong when an applicant tells me that he has a dog but can’t describe it. That happens once in a while. I looked out the window and said to him: “I see that your dog is in your car. Why not bring him inside so I can meet him?” The guy went silent. After thinking about it for a minute, he said: “I don’t think that would be a good idea. My dog has anger management issues. That’s why I have to move.” I said: “Well in that case, leave your dog in the car.” I didn’t call the guy’s landlord to find out the gruesome details about what that dog did. I didn’t have to. I knew that I didn’t want that dog in my building. I rented the place to somebody else, a woman with a small turtle. I would much rather have a turtle in one of my apartments than a dog with anger management issues – or an alcoholic moose.
Are you planning to travel at Christmas or during the winter break? You should never discuss your travel plans on social media websites until you are back home. If you want to show your friends photos of you skiing at Lake Tahoe on Facebook, do it after you return, not before you go or while you are there! Professional burglars are constantly scouring the internet looking for houses to rob! No foolin.’ They really do that! Criminals have software that allows them to identify people who are traveling and then identifying where they live. Yes, people actually do get burglarized this way. Also remember that a lot of burglars look for houses to rob the old-fashioned way, by driving around and looking for houses with obvious signs that nobody is home. (Did you see ‘Home Alone’?) Before you travel, arrange to have someone check your porch regularly for signs that nobody is there, like parcels sitting on the porch or Post-It notes on your front door from FedEx. Burglars also look for houses that are dark, night after night. I can lend you a lamp timer if you want to make it look like someone is home in the evening while you are gone.
It is time once again for your Christmas gifts. If you are named as a tenant on a current lease with me, you are entitled to one gift from the list below. It is one gift per tenant, not one gift per rental unit. I do not have these items on hand. Once you tell me what you want, I will order it for you. As you have probably heard in the news, because of the backup in West Coast ports, a lot of imported products are hard to get right now. If something you want is unavailable, you may have to wait for it to be back in stock or take something else. Here are your choices. Pick one and have a happy holiday season!
1. Segway Electric Scooter. Xioami (pronounced ‘shall-me’) is the largest manufacturer of electric scooters in China. Nearly all of the electric scooter rental companies in the U.S. get their scooters from Xioami, including Lyft, Lime, Bird, and Spin. The model that I plan to give away is Xioami’s Segway Ninebot ES1. This may be the most practical item on this list. Street parking in Berkeley has become far more difficult to find. Berkeley has eliminated hundreds of parking spaces in order to create bike lanes. Street parking is also expensive. A lot of parking meters are now $3.50 an hour.
2. Apple Watch SE. Take calls and reply to texts from your wrist. With GPS.
3. Cuisinart Digital AirFry Toaster Oven. Kitchen appliances take up a lot of space on the countertop, so I like appliances that do the jobs of multiple single-purpose appliances. This is a toaster, an oven, an air fryer, and a food dehydrator. It bakes, broils, proofs dough, and is big enough to roast a whole 4-pound chicken.
4. Cuisinart Elite 12-Cup Food Processor. This comes with slicing and shredding disks, a dough blade, and a 4-cup bowl for small jobs. A great time saver if you have to do a job like slicing a pound of mushrooms. Make pizza dough in 2 minutes.
5. Go Pro Camera Bundle. Waterproof. Bundle includes: 64GB SD card, floating hand grip, wi-fi and Bluetooth.
6. Roomba iRobot i4 Wi-Fi Vacuum Cleaner. I saw one of these in my cousin’s home in Montana. They had 3 big dogs in the house, including a St. Bernard that weighed more than me! This robotic vacuum cleaner worked very well sucking up dog fur, and there was a lot of dog fur in their house. The vacuum cleaner terrified the dogs. There is something about vacuum cleaners that frightens dogs. My stepmother had a dog that hid under her bed shivering in fear whenever the vacuum cleaner was turned on anywhere in the house. I sometimes crawled under the bed with the dog to calm her down until the vacuuming was done. Cats, on the other hand, don’t seem to be afraid of these things.
7. Bose Noise Canceling Bluetooth Wireless Headphones. With Alexa voice control.
8. Fitbit Sense Smart Watch with GPS. You probably know more about what a Fitbit watch does than I do.
9. iPad. 10.2 inch screen. Wi-Fi model. 32GB. The model number will depend on what’s available.
If there is nothing on this list that you want, I can make a donation to the Berkeley landlord association in your name instead. (No tenant of mine has ever picked this option.)
